Lose.

I know baby is concern. And he never wants me to end up like him. I totally understand.

I know very clearly what I'm doing. I know. And before I started, I already told myself I carry my on responsibilities, nobody influence me or whatsoever, I myself wanted it. I'm not even addicted. I bought it really just for fun only. I don't even know why, it's just for the fun of it.

You have been doing it, then why can't I? Plus, I'm not gonna be like you. Not at all. It's just for fun, and I know I'm gonna stop. I wanna stop. But you somehow doubt me... which makes me feel really sad. It's like, when I'm with you, I can't face you. I feel like a criminal, and you caught me. You're the closest to me, but I feel that way. Pathetic. Whereas my friends don't do that to me. They are concern too, but they do support me in whatever I do, as long as I know what I'm doing and I think what I'm doing is right.

I know you care so much. But for now, I just wanna do what I'm doing. Is that so hard? Then when I wanna care for you, you have to show me you're angry. And say things as if you've already given up hope on yourself, breaking your promise to me.




I lose hope on you.