Friday, March 19, 2010

I'm sick!! =(

I haven't blogged for some time.

And now, I'm down with fever. What the hell... Really hate that sick feeling. It's like shit - sickening. Early in the morning I woke up to get ready for class, I knew something is wrong with me. My body was aching, my eyes were burning, my head was heavy. I actually broke down a little. I know it's stupid, but I thought I couldn't stand that really sick feeling. Then I got sort of the diarrhea thing. Stomach was very upset. Must be the nasi lemak I ate at college the day before... I went to class anyway, just one class. Thank god.

Slept through the whole afternoon. That was nice. Lol. I took this opportunity of getting sick to make myself rest to the max, so that I can get more hands on with many more work there is to come. Because since college started, my engines never really stopped working... sob.

Meanwhile. We're doing ok... had friction though. But it's ok now.

I haven't thought of going shopping for awhile. How surprising! Lol. But, looking at this online boutique with big sale, makes me think of doing some shopping again. Hmm mm mm.

I can't wait to go for volleyball this Sunday! Hehe. Till then.


Monday, March 1, 2010

Need ears.

I'm feeling really moody. So lost... as though, there's no fun in my days. I'm trying to figure out, exactly where or what went wrong. It's like, everyday I go to college for classes, I find them so dry and boring. I'm not concentrating... my attention spend is getting shorter and shorter. I don't feel happy going to college. I don't feel lively as I used to be. The minute I step into the classroom, I feel like going home.

Lots of assignments. That's fine. Seriously. I'm used to it already, anyway. But what is making me sick are things like, the waiting, the discussions, the empty results... anything there is to deal with in completing the assignments. We have mouths, but people are just not communicating with people that they work with. People have thoughts and brains, but they don't really make full use of it. People can come up with all sorts of reasons to back things up when they're not completing their jobs completely, then trash their parts to others, and they can get away with it. What are the chances of those who's always helping out with the unfinished parts, when they can actually spend time doing other assignments? And, being capable means the leader-to-be? Being capable means being the one who's always responsible in putting things together? I feel mentally tired already, though I still feel I'm no one to complain about being tired. I'm just a student, how hard are things that I'm doing? Compared to many other people outside... I know my whatsoever stress level is nothing. But yea, I'm complaining.

I'm sorry I'm being rude at times - depending on individuals whom I talked to, depending on how you interpret it. I'm sorry I complain. I'm sorry. But having to do well, I just can't afford to hide all these things and let it be, can I? I've to confront - basically communicate. Regardless what there's I wanna say, I'm really just communicating. No shouting, no voice raising, no judgement.

And to have a partner. I don't see how useful it is. Partners are supposed to share feelings, no matter sad or happy feelings. And you confront each other - at least listen to each other. But I don't get such treatment. I got bitten from the back instead. So much for a partner.