There really will be a first time.. of everything.

First time. He really raised his voice at me. And it was on our 9th month anniversary.
First time. He gave me this really annoying look that feared me.. made me feel so small and weak.
First time. Today. He directed the work 'fuck' to me.. after so long. All this while, no matter how bad the situation gets, or no matter how mad he is, he'll never say that even a whisper to me. But today, we both lose it, and he just burst like a balloon like nobody else. Violating me using words that hurt so bad.

Of so many of them, why me? He told me, only the one you love so much will make you argue the worst. It did happen to us, but is that really true? He just burst at me like I'm some normal idiotic person that annoys him. But he felt so guilty after that, he even teared a bit when he apologized. I couldn't help but to cry.. even when I was in college. I couldn't hold back.. it just.. plainly hurts.




I'm crying more than a river.





He is forgiven.







I'm alright. But there'll still be scar inside.. reminding me of this once in awhile. Till I completely let go of this, but only God knows when.