Happy New Year!

It's 1st January 2010 already!

Hmm. Some thoughts to share? Well.. not much. Really. It's new year, I supposed there'll be better things coming! New semester to look forward to, close to finishing up my report, more time for friends.. all good!

Would like to wish all of you a very happy new year. All the best in whatever you do, take care of your health, and basically enjoy more days to come! Don't take things for granted; appreciate people around you, eventhough when they sometimes really pissed you off; love more people, cut down the hate...


Enjoy life, leave no regression. Yeah.





With the warmest regards and love.
=)

Really.

I don't know what and how I'm feeling anymore... I really don't know. I can't think anymore.

I really can't.

I'm exhausted. I really am.

Maybe letting go is really the best answer... but I can't do that. I want to hold on to it.. to him. I love him.

Hong's 19th @ The Library!

The birthday boy - Voon Hong!!


Yohoo. It was a blast I have to say. It was Hong turning 19, finally! His birthday had been so long.. haha. By the way, before we went to The Library, we went to some chinese restaurant to have dinner. Good food, good chatting session, good catching up. Then only we went to The Library after filling our stomachs full.

Yesterday was my very first time visiting The Library, and well, it's actually a very nice place. It is a place where it is definitely more chilling than the club. Not as crazy. Lol. That night, there was some music event going on. Quite a lot of people, but right after the event, everyone sort of left the place. But we stayed until 12am, just to countdown till midnight, and to have more of the fun. Had beer, had some puffs... was really enjoying myself there. We had so much fun taking silly pictures too. And you can only see it on Facebook!

Now, am looking forward to new year's eve party. Hmm, juggling to decide which one to go to. School gang's party? College friends' party? Or baby and friend's party? Pending confirmation.. hehe.

Together.

And so today is Dong Jie. It's the time where everyone gather together as a family and basically have a heart-warming and chilling dinner. What I had? Hmm. Definitely dinner that's heart-warming. Lol. And the best part is the 'tong yun'! Mom always makes yummy 'tong yun' every year. Hehe.

Also, today is officially the last day of my internship. I miss the agency; I miss my mentor and some colleagues; I miss every single thing about the agency - enough said. And I'm really grateful that I got the chance to go to that agency particularly. I really learnt a lot, and I appreciate those who taught me just anything before. Tomorrow - get back to working on my report! Yeap. Just a little more to go.

Just came back from OU with baby. And!! I got that pair of ballet pumps from Vincci already! Hehehe. Superb. Thank God mom didn't say much, only very minor nagging, and done. Yohoo! I can wear that to Malacca this coming weekend. Hmm..

That's all I guess. Goodnight world.

Fresh From The Office!

Hey world!

Time is flying like nobody's business! And I suppose it is a good thing. I can't wait to move forward, to live more of the days infront of me, and to have a bit more of everything. I'm nothing but excited.

Jolly Christmas is right at the corner, and everything has become so bubbly already! I got presents today, from my lovely mentors and a colleague. Super happy and thankful. They're still wrapped up very nicely beside my table.. hehe. I brought them very cute gifts too! It's for Christmas, but most importantly, the gifts are to show my appreciation to them for looking out for me for 3 months at Saatchi. Hope they will really like it.. And oh, I got my pay! Damn, must get that pair of ballet pumps from Vincci like, ASAP. Lol.

And then. Tomorrow. Yes - 22nd December, a Tuesday. It's the last day of my internship, officially and seriously! Woohoo! I really can't be any happier. The day has finally come. Well, I'm obviously happy. But at the same time, I feel a little sad as well. I mean, I'm really missing the agency, and also my mentor and colleagues, eventhough I'm not as close with them. I'm really missing every single thing I do here... the daily routine at the office. Hmm. I guess there's always a start, and it has to come to an end right? But hey, no worries men. I'm damn chirpy right now, it's like, everything just fall to the right place. One of my mentor filled up the assessment form and showed it to me, and according to the comments, I did really good for my internship! I can't help but smile so wide looking at the assessment form. As for another mentor, she's totally silent about it.. but I'm pretty sure her comments for me wouldn't run any further. I have faith! And I trust myself. Yippe.

Right now, I'm looking forward to tomorrow, where families will be celebrating "Dong Jie". Yay, will eat nothing but 'tong yun'! My favourite every year. Next, will be shopping (preferably Wednesday) - must get that ballet pumps. Then Christmas - not sure what's the plan, but I'm still looking forward to it! And weekends - will be away to Malacca! Wow... these plans. Awesome-ness!

Sound of Sadness. My Sentimental Lullaby.

I couldn't sleep last night. Not that well - at least.

I was mentally exhausted. But at the same time, so awake.

Whenever I close my eyes, I see things.

I saw your face.

The face that tells me love...

The face that tells me comfort...

The face that tells me happiness...

The face that tells me forever and always...

A face that tells me how much I love you.

But that face I saw tells me pain and regression too.



I'm trapped again. This time, deep down the yale. Deep down the ocean.

Deep down in my own sorrow and indecisive heart.

Deep down... nowhere.



I wish I have something - just anything, that is able to answer my questions.

Just anything, that is able to speak for me.

Anything, that is able to analyze the situation and give me answers; direction; something.

Something that is able to understand me, and that's from my perspective.

Not you... but something. Which I don't know what.

I believe, it doesn't really exist. Does it?

That something is my own heart, isn't it?

But dear heart it's broken... lost... faded grey, black and white. Beyond hope. Beyond devastation. Beyond heart broken. Beyond...

Back From Kuantan.

Last Friday and Saturday, I was away to Kuantan. How would I rate the trip? Well, pretty good! Like, 8 outta 10.

The place was very nice, the hotel and its environment. The beach was ok. It wasn't as clean, but at least it didn't smell, which I think is good enough for Malaysia's beach standard. Lol. The food there was also very nice. Parents spent us Heineken and ice-cream float at the hotel bar as well! Awesome night. But the best part of the trip is that I got to play volleyball at the beach! My god, that was really awesome! I miss playing volleyball so much, and there happened to have a volleyball court where tourists can borrow the ball from the fitness centre for free and to play. Without even thinking twice, I went to get the ball and play with family. It was damn fun! Weehee! I get to make new friends at the beach also, when this group of people came around and asked if they can join the game. We're actually talking on MSN now, and FB. Hehe.

And because of volleyball, I had a totally, extremely, freakish-ly great work out. Totally. To the max. It's freaky because my whole body was practically numb, and in pain. I can hardly walk, or sit, or to move any parts of my body. It was too painful, after such workout on the sand that made volleyball even harder to play. But I love it so much when I dive for the ball and fall on the sand... hmm.. It was hours of playing and serving the ball! My hands were like 'pig hand', technically. And it hurts so bad. The fun never dies though!

*

Now that I'm back. I'm back to my routine - working at Saatchi. Sigh... same shit again. What the hell. Have the feeling of hate towards what I'm doing again. But hey, this is so demotivating. I'm not like this, I shoudn't be like this. But then, total up with other crap between me and him that have been going on the past few days... I can't help it but to me as demotivated as possible.

Hope for nothing but a more cheerful tomorrow.

Someone answer me!

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why is this thing happening? To me! Goddamn it! I hate this big time. I'm supposed to end my internship on 22nd December. But just this morning I reached the office, mentor told me to come back and work till end of the year. As in, seriously. Until 31st December. 31st December??! Damn it! Thanks to those no-brainer clients I guess...

I can't take this! I want my own time and plans. I wanna just do my things and stay away from work for awhile. I need time to complete my goddamn internship report! But why this shit is blocking my way?! Argh!

But still. Eventhough extending my internship sucks, there's still something to look forward to - production shoot. It can build my report, and also my curiosity and interest towards live shooting. But no. It still sucks. Imagine I have to wake up early and sit in the damn office... Sigh.

Whacked out.

Today was a totally stressed out day - 101% stressed.

The minute I reached the office, I had so many things to do already. One after another. The worst thing was that, I have many timelines to follow - I had so many things to hand in and to deliver. At the same time, the traffic department was bugging me a little here and there when I was rushing to do stuffs. On the other hand, both my mentor asked me to do this and that. The minute they call my name, I went "Damn. Not again...". Serious shit.

I became even more stressed out and infact, angry, when my mentor was having this black face - thanks to those Clients. Whenever her face is black, I will feel super stress. Plus, she's sitting right infront of me. Imagine that. God. Non-stop working on things from moning till the minute I go home... tiring. At one point, I really felt like shouting. Just shouting, then get back to work.

Right now, whilst trying to take down all the things that was and will be threw to me in the office, I have to balance out my time as well to do my internship report. Ergh! I really wanna do it at home, like, maybe stay up late to do bit by bit. But everyday I swear, I will feel so tired mentally and physically right after work I just feel like not doing anything. Sob.. I started off a little yesterday, and I planned out my calendar to make sure by when I should've completed what topics... I know I got time, just getting a little worried. And also the feeling of not wanting to do 'assignment'.

I'm done with a quickie. Now... shall just get some me-time. Ciao.