Need ears.

I'm feeling really moody. So lost... as though, there's no fun in my days. I'm trying to figure out, exactly where or what went wrong. It's like, everyday I go to college for classes, I find them so dry and boring. I'm not concentrating... my attention spend is getting shorter and shorter. I don't feel happy going to college. I don't feel lively as I used to be. The minute I step into the classroom, I feel like going home.

Lots of assignments. That's fine. Seriously. I'm used to it already, anyway. But what is making me sick are things like, the waiting, the discussions, the empty results... anything there is to deal with in completing the assignments. We have mouths, but people are just not communicating with people that they work with. People have thoughts and brains, but they don't really make full use of it. People can come up with all sorts of reasons to back things up when they're not completing their jobs completely, then trash their parts to others, and they can get away with it. What are the chances of those who's always helping out with the unfinished parts, when they can actually spend time doing other assignments? And, being capable means the leader-to-be? Being capable means being the one who's always responsible in putting things together? I feel mentally tired already, though I still feel I'm no one to complain about being tired. I'm just a student, how hard are things that I'm doing? Compared to many other people outside... I know my whatsoever stress level is nothing. But yea, I'm complaining.

I'm sorry I'm being rude at times - depending on individuals whom I talked to, depending on how you interpret it. I'm sorry I complain. I'm sorry. But having to do well, I just can't afford to hide all these things and let it be, can I? I've to confront - basically communicate. Regardless what there's I wanna say, I'm really just communicating. No shouting, no voice raising, no judgement.

And to have a partner. I don't see how useful it is. Partners are supposed to share feelings, no matter sad or happy feelings. And you confront each other - at least listen to each other. But I don't get such treatment. I got bitten from the back instead. So much for a partner.